A Graduation Letter to Cayden
Thursday marked a huge milestone in the Haas house. Cayden graduated from high school. In August, he'll begin the next chapter of his journey at college, and while I'm filled with pride, I also still feel myself in a bit of disbelief. It feels impossible that we've already arrived at this moment. I can still picture him as a little boy coming down the slide at the park, and heading off to a youth soccer practice, and doing a science project at the kitchen table. Yet somehow eighteen years have passed. People always tell young parents, "Enjoy it. It goes fast." They're right. You blink, and suddenly you're helping your son pack for college.
As I've reflected on this milestone over the past few days, I found myself thinking about what I want Cayden to know as he enters this next phase of life. Not because I have all the answers, but because life has a way of teaching lessons that often seem obvious in hindsight. If I could go back and talk to my own eighteen-year-old self, these are some of the things I would share. So, I share them with Cayden now.
Dear Cayden,
Congrats, bud! This is such an exciting time of your life – graduating college and stepping into adulthood. You should be proud of all your accomplishments, and I know you’re excited for this next chapter of your life, studying and playing soccer at Albright. As I’m prone to do far too often with you (I can hear you saying “Here comes the “Dad Life Advice”), I just want to share a couple things, with love, that I hope stick with you as you start your journey.
First, hold yourself accountable. College brings an incredible amount of freedom. No one is going to remind you to get out of bed, attend class, complete an assignment, or prepare for tomorrow's responsibilities. For the first time, much of your success or failure rests squarely on your shoulders. Freedom is one of life's greatest gifts, but it comes with responsibility. The people who thrive aren't always the most talented or the smartest. More often, they're the people who can be trusted to do what they said they would do, even when nobody is watching. So show up, follow through, own your mistakes, and then learn from them. Character is built in those moments.
Second, be yourself and be kind. There will always be pressure to fit in, to impress people, or to become a version of yourself that you think others want to see. Don’t! The world already has enough people pretending to be someone they are not. It needs the unique person God created you to be. So, stay grounded in your values and faith, trust your instincts, and no matter where life takes you, be kind to people. You never know what someone else is carrying. A simple act of kindness, a word of encouragement, or including someone who feels left out can make a bigger difference than you'll ever know. Long after people forget what you accomplished, they'll remember how you made them feel.
Third, take care of yourself. This may sound like the least exciting advice on the list, but it might be the most important. Get sleep and eat well. There is no energy drink, supplement or life hack that replaces a solid night’s rest and a well-balanced diet. The older I get, the more I realize how many problems become easier to navigate when you're physically and mentally healthy. You already know this through years of athletics. Your body performs better, your mind works better, and your emotions stay more balanced. Don't treat your health as something you'll worry about later. Take care of it now.
Fourth, learn how to fail forward. Life will not always go according to plan. You'll lose games or get a disappointing grade. You'll miss opportunities and at some point, a relationship will not work out the way you hoped. You'll experience frustration, disappointment, and setbacks.
That's not failure. That's life. Some of the greatest growth you'll experience will come from moments that didn't go your way. Every setback has something to teach you if you're willing to learn from it. The coach in me believes that in most situations, you either win or you learn. The key is to keep moving forward. Resilience isn't built during the easy games. It's built when things get hard and you choose not to quit.
Fifth, enjoy yourself. This chapter of life will pass more quickly than you can imagine. One day we'll be moving you into your dorm room, and before you know it, you'll be walking across another stage receiving a college diploma. In between will be thousands of moments that seem ordinary at the time but will eventually become cherished memories. The conversations that happen late at night with friends. The early morning practices when the air feels cool and the world is quiet. The spontaneous road trips. The meals and bus rides shared with teammates. The study sessions that somehow turn into life conversations. The laughter, the inside jokes, the friendships, and the routines that feel so normal in the moment. One of the hardest lessons in life is learning how to slow down enough to appreciate the present. We spend so much time looking forward to the next milestone that we forget to enjoy the moment we're currently living in. Some of life's greatest joys are hidden in ordinary days.
And finally, know that the door at home is always open. No matter how old you get or where life takes you or what mistakes you make or what successes you achieve, the door at home is always open. I hope you never feel alone, but if you do, call. If you're struggling, call. If you're excited about something, call. If you need advice, call. And if you don't need anything at all and just want to tell us about your day, call. Your mom and I won't always have the answers, but we'll always answer the phone. That's what family does.
As proud as I am of your accomplishments, I'm even more proud of the young man you've become. Your character, your work ethic, your kindness toward others, and the way you've carried yourself through life's challenges give me confidence that you're ready for what's next. So, as this High School chapter closes and another begins, my prayer for you is simple: work hard, stay humble and kind, trust God, love with all your heart, and enjoy the journey.
Because if the last eighteen years have taught me anything, it's this: blink, and you'll miss it.
Love,
Dad
Ticket #T010915
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