Money and the Conversations that Say "I Love You"
There are many ways to say, “I love you.” Some involve words, some involve time, and yes, some involve money. But money is rarely spoken about with warmth or ease, especially for couples who have already lived a lot of life together. By the time you’re approaching retirement or already there, money tends to carry more history. Old habits, old arguments, and old roles that quietly settled in years ago. As a financial planner, I see this every day. Often one person has always handled the finances, and one person has always avoided them. One person worries about running out and the other worries about not enjoying what they’ve worked so hard to build. None of that means something is wrong. It just means the conversation matters more now than it ever did.
So, as Valentine’s Day rolls around, it might be worth rethinking the role money plays in your relationship. Not as a source of tension, but as a way to care for one another in this next chapter of life. Whether married for 10 years or 50(!) here are a few financial ways to say, “I love you.”
First, make space for ongoing money conversations. Not emergency conversations. Not conversations triggered by a market headline or a medical bill. Just regular check-ins where both of you know what’s going on and where things stand. Even if one person still prefers not to be “in the weeds,” understanding the big picture is an act of partnership. Time and clarity are too valuable to waste.
Second, make sure both of you understand the plan and feel comfortable with how money is structured. It’s common for one spouse to handle most financial decisions, and that can work well until life changes. Taking time to review accounts, income sources, and key decisions together helps ensure neither of you is left guessing. The same goes for how money is organized. Joint accounts, separate accounts, or a mix can all be healthy choices, but only if both partners understand and agree on what those choices represent. Talking through both the practical details and the feelings behind them reinforces trust, clarity, and partnership.
Third, plan for health before health forces the plan. This stage of life brings real questions about medical costs, long-term care, and decision-making authority. Talking about insurance, care preferences, powers of attorney, and estate plans is not pessimistic. It’s protective. It’s a way of saying, “I don’t want to leave you with confusion or conflict if life takes an unexpected turn.”
Fourth, simplify wherever you can. Complexity is exhausting, especially later in life. Reducing the number of accounts, organizing important information, and clearly documenting what matters most can be an incredible gift to your spouse and your family. Think of it as leaving good instructions, not because something bad is imminent, but because you care about the people who may one day need them.
And finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is invite a neutral third party into the conversation. A financial planner who listens first, understands both perspectives, and helps translate goals into a shared plan can remove pressure from the relationship itself. You don’t have to solve everything alone.
Valentine’s Day will always have its place for cards, flowers, and a nice dinner. But in this season of life, love often looks quieter and more practical. It looks like clarity, preparation and a shared understanding. If aligning your finances helps you care for one another better, then that conversation may be one of the most meaningful ways to say, “I love you.”
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Investment Advice offered through Great Valley Advisor Group, a Registered Investment Advisor. Great Valley Advisor Group and Haas Financial Investment Advice offered through Great Valley Advisor Group, a Registered Investment Advisor. Great Valley Advisor Group and Haas Financial Group are separate entities. This is not intended to be used as tax or legal advice. Please consult a tax or legal professional for specific information and advice. are separate entities. This is not intended to be used as tax or legal advice. Please consult a tax or legal professional for specific information and advice.
